It is dark, I have no idea where I am. I realize I am all alone and hooked up to several machines. I have one IV holding fluid, another holding some sort of red liquid I can only imagine is blood. I am hooked up to a catheter, heart machines, and blood pressure cuffs. I catch a glimpse of myself in the glass window and I see a girl with a gash in here forehead and a black and blue face.
How did I get here? What happened? How is it that just a few days ago I was a girl on top of the world. A girl with dreams, aspirations, wearing high heels with an awesome attitude. A girl who wanted to inspire others, write a book, speak on behalf of young girls and women going through what I had just come to grips with, and work to initiate change within the world of Eating Disorders. A girl who wanted scales without numbers, clothes without sizes, and magazines that promoted health and happiness, not skin and bones.
What happened? I was so strong. I was a survivor for heavens sake not a victim.
I lied there alone until a doctor came in and explained I had OD’d on alcohol. He told me I had a .5 alcohol level in my bloodstream and under the circumstances anybody else would be dead.
All I could say was, “Dead?”
Here I had already escaped death by my own hand for nearly half my life, and now I was going to let one little job lay off seal the nail to my coffin? Forget that!
Once the doctor turned to leave my room, my thoughts were indignant. I was not going to let this knock me down. No way will I let people feel sorry for me either. I would rather them respect me more for pushing through this the pain of accepting change, to letting go and being open to what may be waiting for me on the other side of all of this mess I got myself into. One thing I do know, I am a warrior. I may lose some battles but I am determined to win the war.
To be continued……
Written by Melissa DeHart
Want to connect with Melissa? You can find her on Facebook here: https://www.facebook.com/MissMeliss.Fabulous
NOTE TO READER : My heart - I just learned Melissa passed a few days ago, today being December 31, 2013, Once I find out where people can send cards or make a donation in her name, I will let you know.
God bless you Melissa. You were and will always be an incredible inspiration to the lives you have touched. I will miss you deeply.
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